Growing old...

When a person grows old, it will be like reliving your childhood once more. Everyone attending to your needs, feeding, bathing, right down to changing your diapers and wiping your ass. But if we are given power in making the final decisions of what is to happen to our own life, we should definitely stand up to our rights. I saw a 76 year old Indian lady yesterday night in the A & E, she came in with confusion and was slightly feverish. The initial thought was that it could be a hypoglycaemic attack, but upon further questioning, we were told that she has breast cancer, and is currently on NIL treatment for it. When the doctor asked when was her last follow up appointment, her daughter in law told that she defaulted her last follow up in march this year. When asked for the reason, all of them pointed their fingers to the poor old lady, saying that she refused to go. After examining the patient, the doctor thought that the cancer was still in an operable stage, and asked if the option to remove the tumour was offered. The family nodded, and said that the old lady's SON refused to allow her to go for the operation! Come on, it's the poor old lady suffering, and she is allowing her SON to make ALL the decisions! WHAT KIND OF MENTALITY IS THIS! It's not like she can't speak for herself or if she is dumb (no offence here), BUT her mind is FUNCTIONING PERFECTLY WELL! This is a proven fact of the unconditional love a mother 's sacrifice for her son, maybe she did not want to be a burden to him after she knew that she had cancer, that's why she let him make the decision...

I just cant understand the mentality of the 'old school'. It's like we are back in the old days once more, or maybe it is just evolving too slowly into the newer era. I can be considered to be from a mixture of both types of era's, as my dad from the more 'conservative' side, and my mum the 'more adaptable to new situations' type. It would be in my dad's family that you hear stories like this happening, up till now there is NO EVOLVEMENT whatsoever. My dad (being the eldest son), makes the decision on ANYTHING & EVERYTHING that has to do with my granny's welfare. In my opinion, I think that this is so TOTALLY WRONG! I used to ask my grandmother why so, her answer has always been the same, so that i would not interrupt your dad's work, he's a busy man. ARGGGGGGHHHH! It just irritates me sometimes. If you do not want to disturb him, why create MORE problems to solve? In fact, they are actually ADDING to his workload and making him worry more that making it easier for him. Those were the days when i would see my dad, sitting in his chair, with his 'thinking cap' on, figuring out how so solve one problem after the other! And the best part is that all these aren't his own personal problems at all!

Back to the old lady earlier. I saw her again this morning, she was in a much better condition, after given the IV antibiotics. I read the case notes, and it stated that her family members (i.e. SON), want her to be discharged at her own risk. The doctor's advised them that it could be fatal, as her diagnosis was septicaemia secondary to her infected breast cancer ulceration. But no avail, ALL the doctor's failed to convince her family members to allow her to go for the surgery. The decision has been made, all they are waiting for now is for her son to come and sign the papers, then she will be on her way home...

@ Distraught & irritated... 1441, 08052006