Major depression...

Just too many things happening at the same time... At this moment in time. Basically, its just missing my buddy. Missing talking to someone who shares your sorrow and feelings. Someone who just knows what actually going on without asking a word. Someone there to hug and hold when i need to. Maybe its just the wrong time of the month. The emotional one if you could understand.

Im just missing ted too much. As in REALLY missing him madly. Uncontrollable tears, unconsolable cries. I really do not know what to do. That bad till i don't even want to go home. Work is just occupying my time most of the day, which is helpful during daytime.

Everything has just gone wrong. I can't take it anymore. It's just not supposed to go all like that. It's more of nature taking its course than me controlling the situation. That's why its frustrating......

At times like this, i'll just cry, cry and cry. I miss his company. His presence when i really need him. Its been almost 1 1/2 years now. Adaptive mechanisms has still not kicked in. It's actually been some time that i've sobbed like that. I really do, really really miss him...

@ 2139, 13052011... Love you always, one and only...

Hooooooooooolidayz......

Gone were the days where school holidays were always there and awaited for. These days there hardly are any planned holidays... Mainly ELs or mcs. End of posting leave... Finally. Never been back home for such a long period since work started. Done with oath then the last one to go... Hope that I'll like it... Anesthesiology.

Gut has been crazy as usual. The are days where its just well behaved, days that I feel like killing myself as theres no good reason to live.

Heading to penang in a days time. Just to chill out and basically do nothing. Hah! Finally. I so need this break.

@1049...at home, waiting for a phonecall.