Skin, subcutaneous fat, serosa, muscularis, peritoneum, uterus... Gush of amniotic fluid, out pops a head, followed by 4 limbs & a trunk. Shrivelled skin, greyish, lifeless, alien-like, lying there. It takes less than 10 seconds before it takes it's 1st breath. Crying it's lungs out, wrigling and shivering to the cold temperature of the OT. That's the miracle of life, how we were once brought into this mean & cruel world, how the fittest of all shall survive.
Had 1st class experience today in the OT. Total hands on, assisting in a LSCS surgery, complicated with placenta previa. Could feel the warmth of the amniotic fluid as it gushed out like the rapids of the Nile, then blood oozing non-stop from the placenta bed, spruting arteries in all directions... Hell, IT WAS BLOODY... & guess what, i totally enjoyed the scene!!!
Saw a myriad of cases today, D&C, BTL, LSCS & cervical cerclage. Once stop centre i call it, 1st session in there, 'sapu' all cases-lah. Rather dissapointed that they did not have any TAHBSO's scheduled for today, as that would be much much more fun!
I honestly do not enjoy O&G, ended up in the OT for the sake of showing my face there, at the same time sucking up to my long case examiner. It was by chance that none of us wanted to scrub in, hence i volunteered. After this experience, i still think im more of an ortho person, where you can see things being fixed & making a difference for an individual. Being more of a technical person, I can't seem to appreciate the 'gift of life' concept, it just dosen't 'drive' it's message through my heart. I crave for more action, banging & twisting, hammering & screwing, that's what i call fun!
In the end, i feel comfortable with whatever im doing now. Never regretting the day i stepped into medical school, which was the turning point of my life. But been here for the 5th year now, i feel that i do not pity others so easily, not affected psychologically when surrounded by the suffering, sick & dying. I've lost the sensitive part of me, it even applies to the closest of relatives. All these emotions as if has evaporised from my system. Maybe it's the way of how i cope with my feelings, not wanting them to distract the way i work or make decisions. At times i feel that im rather 'inhumane', as i do not grieve as others do. Seeing my close one's shedding tears has no effect on me anymore, i feel so 'cold hearted'.
@ 1919, 16012008, enough said...
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