It's just 15 minutes, that's all it takes to have a great impact on my life! ... It was purely unforgettable, the moment in time that i faced him, spoke to him, the look on his face, the amusement he got from me, the dissapoinment in his face when i screwed up between ANTERIOR RESECTION AND HARTMANN"S PROCEDURE! I'll never forget those 2! The encounter with the 'greatest' surgeon ever. Time froze as both of us stood face to face, one questioning professionally & the other gagging away like an idiot. It's not that i do not know my stuff, it just could not get out from my mouth. By the time he reached the anatomy of the rectum, i was exhausted, the churning and grinding tummy, the room spinning around, the lightheadedness... I was at the verge of collapsing. He was rather kind in a way, but i do hope that he does not judge me based on my performance today. It's just not my day, the case was simple enough (colorectal carcinoma), diagnosis was even given by the patient's relative (my 1st shock was when the daughter-in-law gave me a totally different history), given limited time, Mr S was really a complicated man with complicated medical conditions!!! His history was 'rojak' (or to say the history that i took was as so), was only formulating the chief complain when he came to start the questioning! Palpitations, cold sweat, lightheadedness, colic, SOB... It all came at once. I was so stressed out till i couldn't think straight!
Argggghhhh...... Im just so frustrated at the moment. I don't think that i performed the best of my abilities. I could have done better. Im so dissapointed with myself. Another paper up this afternoon, at least this time i do not have to face anyone, it's just me and the paper, that's all. The best part of that is only the eaminer who marks the sripts will know what i have written in it!
@ 1005, 02112007
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