The existence of 'another world' out there has baffled scientist for decades, since the whole issue came up. What i mean is not another planet, or another universe out there. Im referring the the places known as 'heaven' & 'hell'... Or is there such a place???
The past weekend has be spiritually challenging. Born to a family that believes in prayers, the existence of heaven and hell, death as a taboo... My mind is exhausted... Currently, Im just in total shutdown mode.
The next few weeks is going to be a rough ride, for everyone in my family. I know it's not easy to loose a very loved one, especially when you already know that it's going to happen, but, i think that we have to accept it when the time comes. The worst part for me is that we know that it's going to happen soon, but the agony of waiting for the time to come is the part that kills.
Phases of grieve:
1. Shock
2. Denial
3. Bargaining
4. Guilt
5. Anger
6. Depression
It makes me sad to see my loved one is going through these phases. It's as though she has lost EVERYTHING in life, no purpose anymore, she just can't think straight... Most of all, i really wonder what is going to happen when the time comes, what would her final reaction be. I feel that i play a very important role to whatever is going on now, but at the same time im clueless on what im suppose to do and how to react. All i did the whole weekend was consolling her, telling her that she should be prepared mentally for it to come, all you can do now is just to spend more valueble time with her, that everyone dies eventually, let mother nature takes its cause.
The ironic part is that when a person is alive, you hate him or her so much, you hardly see him/her, you never appreciated the time spent together and the moments in life... When the person is about to pass on, you grab all the opportunities possible to spend with the person, you basks the person in 24 hr attention... Isn't that a really sad and dissapointing thing?
The thought of DEATH has always crossed my mind. I feel that im mentally prepared to face it when the time comes. Being clastraphobic and having the phobia of coffins (really, it's the box that freaks me out!), i've always wanted my body to be donated to the body farm (there's only 1 to date and it's in the US), so that i will not have to be either boxed up 6 feet under or be in the form of ashes. Despite all these 'fancy' plans, i think that in the end of the day i will be cremated like everyone else for the convenience of all. I am a strong believe in re-incarnation, where i will be reborn in the form of either of a human being once more, or as another lifeform. When the time comes, i should be ready to go without any regrets in all my actions, without any enemies, a totally 'clean' person...
But for now, the most important thing is that everyone should just 'hang in there' pretty thight to each other, letting go when the time comes, accepting whatever that comes along. Life''s tough and full of surprises, but it's how the mind and soul accepts it that counts.
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincon
@ 1426, 12112007, totally drained after a long weekend...
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